"R" is for Rank and Insignia

*This post is the first of a new series entitled "ABCs of a Corps Life" about everything military-related. 

Check out this page for more info and for an continually updated list of topics.*

I'll never forget one of the first times that I saw a "silver lining" to Stud's military involvement. Remember that it had only been a few months since we rekindled our romantic relationship when he came home from his very first round of training and found out that he would be deploying right away. I had a lot of mixed feelings about the Marine Corps and its power to take this man away from me at the drop of a hat. Well, the adjustments just kept rolling in over the next few months, but one day we were talking on the phone during either his training or the deployment and he said, "Oh, by the way, the Marine Corps Ball is in November." What? Ball? Marine Corps Ball? Ok, now all of this military stuff is starting to pay off!

So what? I'm a woman, aren't I? If being told that I get to attend a ball puts me in a better mood while my love is gone I'll take it! And so began the hunt for the perfect dress...not that it mattered because I bought one only a couple of weeks before the ball even after having MONTHS to look for one. However the dress wasn't the only think on my mind about this weekend (the Marine Corps Ball is actually a weekend event). After hearing Stud rattle off people's names preceded by their rank for the last several months, I wanted to make sure that I, too, would know what's going on and when I was talking to someone "important." I figured that spending a little time to become familiar with the USMC rank and insignia would be a great way to show my support and pride; and, hey, if this was gonna be part of my life for the next 6-8 years, I needed to stay on top of it as much as I could!

It's funny how little ranks meant to me as a civilian in a purely civilian world. Lieutenant? Private? What's the difference? In movies it was only body language and the way people reacted to each other that told me who had authority over whom. If you get a Lieutenant and a Private mixed up in the military, though, you're in deep...well, you know what.

Rank is a BIG deal. I'm still wrapping my head around just how important the rank structure is and sometimes it still boggles my mind how tightly the men and women are held to their ranking system. Don't get me wrong, I understand that it is, indeed, very important for this structure to exist and function properly. I mean, of all people, I get structure. Like anything, though, it's not without its drawbacks. For example, you get an arrogant Staff Sergeant who decides he doesn't like a particular PFC and things are not going to go well for that PFC. Right or wrong, getting dumped on by a higher-ranking Marine is most likely just part of the upbringing for most Devil Dogs. Whether it's some form or initiation, a punishment gone overboard, or just a reality of imperfect humans performing imperfectly, poorly-yielded authority is probably no more common in the military than it is in families or corporations; even if you have a generally good system, some people are going to abuse it or get abused by it. When you're in the military, though, you can't just quit your job if you boss is a jerk or move out if your parents are too strict. Compliance and obedience are part of the deal and they have to be if the military is to run successfully for obvious reasons. Having positive or negative experiences with your chain of command can really make or break your attitude especially since, in the military, you can't just leave work for the day or go out for a drive; you're "on" all the of the time and you don't control your day-to-day, hour-to-hour life.

Before you get the idea that all the "highers" just throw their weight around and that it sucks for everyone, let me highlight some of the really beneficial aspects of the rank structure.
1. It creates an organization in which everyone knows where they stand.
2. It provides motivation to improve and move up.
3. It fosters camaraderie among peers and, hopefully, trust in those in authority.
4. It ensures accountability.
5. It demands quality.
6. It's traditional (for a lot of people, this is enough of a reason by itself).
7. It allows people to focus on their particular job, and for all functions to come together methodically.

It may be hard to get used to, but this structure seems to be the backbone of the USMC. It facilitates all other functions from training to supply chain, transportation to support services, and, let's not forget, kicking butt!

Oorah!!

Seriously, how handsome is this Lance Corporal? 

Clockwise starting at the top left:

1. Training in boot camp

2.Gunner for convoy security (Iraq)

3. Goofing round in Iraq

4. Graduating from boot camp

Ok, so just in case you want to familiarize yourself with the Marine Corps rank and insignia, it is as follows:

Enlisted ranks

See the insignia for Master Gunnery Sergeant (third from the right)? I call it a pineapple but apparently it's a bursting bomb. I didn't know this until Stud was quizzing me and I said "Master Gunnery Sergeant: 3 chevrons (the bars on top), 4 rockers (the bars on the bottom) and the pineapple." He wasn't sure what I was talking about at first. I wonder why it was so easy for him to perceive a bomb and for me to perceive a pineapple. Yeah, such a mystery.

 Photo credits here, here and here.

Here are the officer ranks. In the Marine Corps, if you went the enlisted route, you become a non-commissioned officer (NCO) once you hit corporal and through sergeant. At staff sergeant and above, you're known as a staff non-commissioned officer (SNCO).  However, to start out at Officer Candidate School (OCS) to become a commissioned officer, you have to already have achieved a bachelor's degree from an accredited institution.

Officer ranks

Charts from www.marines.com.

Each branch of the military has its own ranking structure although they share similarities. Marine Corps insignia is displayed on the arm of the uniform or on the collar. If you want to learn more check out the USMC website.

Knowing the ranks goes a long way in understanding what a service member is talking about. It can automatically give you perspective when hearing about various situations. If Stud tells me that he heard a rumor that they were coming home early (this happened last deployment) and the info is coming from a lance corporal or even a corporal or sergeant, I might not get too excited. If, however, the news came down from a captain or a gunny (Gunnery Sergeant) or someone like that, I might get my hopes up. As a side note, rumors almost never pan out no matter where they originate. When Stud tells me about so-and-so, I almost always ask what his or her rank is just to get an idea of where they fall into the structure. There's a lot at play in the conversations and practices of those serving. And to make things even more complex, there's also a rule against fraternization. So the men and women are really only supposed to hang out with people of their same rank, which can also skew the information that each person receives. This rule has exceptions but, from my view on the sidelines, they seem to keep it up pretty well. 

Of course, all of that being said, there are tons of nuances to keep track of. Here's my simple understanding: technically, if someone outranks you, they can tell you what to do, but sometimes you get told what to do by multiple people and it's not always consistent. Or sometimes someone outranks you but isn't directly in your chain of command. In those cases, it's not so cut and dry. One of the most common questions I ask after Stud tells me about a situation is, "Yeah, but do you have to listen to him?" Haha. I guess that shows my rebellious side. There's just too much authority to keep track of! But the guys (and gals) do a fabulous job for the most part and they get it done! Seriously, how many of us could hold up under so many levels of authority? You really have to admire their patience, flexibility and loyalty. 

Bravo to all you men and women out there who maneuver the waters of rank structure with pride AND humility. Your willingness to walk that line allows the military machine to power along and keep us safe! 

So that's my brief explanation of my limited understanding of the Rank and Insignia of the Marine Corps and how important it really is. 

Cartoon credit and unedited version here. The Marines are part of the Navy and sometimes it's not a stretch at all to apply the term "Swear like a sailor" to some of these...

ABCs of the Corps Life

The Few and the Proud. Be All that You Can Be. It's Not Just a Job. It's an Adventure! I bet we all know several slogans like these, seeking to entice (mostly) young men and women to consider joining a branch of the US military. I remember my last year in high school and for the next couple years getting calls from recruiters asking if I had weighed my options and filling me in on the benefits of a military career, but until a few years ago I never gave much thought to the military. I wasn't close to anyone that was currently serving and it just never seemed like a realistic lifestyle for me. I've always had a lot of respect for our members of the military but it was easy to feel so removed from it all. I figured that the people who needed to know what was going on were doing what they needed to do and therefore I could focus on my own pursuits. Of course, that all changed when the love of my life enlisted. I won't go into all the sappy details but if you're curious you can read about them here.

Being married to a Marine has opened up a whole world to me about which I hadn't a clue. I am very proud of my husband, his fellow Marines and the men and women who serve in the military in general. It's been an honor to get to glimpse into this realm where people aren't just going to work, they're going to war so that the rest of us can go to work. I could go on an on about the impact that the military has had on our lives in the few short years since Stud enlisted so I thought it would be helpful to give it a little structure. Oh, how I love structure.

This is the place where I will share what I have learned, what I still don't understand, the struggles that I face, the pride I feel and everything else related to life through the eyes of a Marine wife. Please check back as I will continuously be adding to the list, listing subjects alphabetically. If you have an idea, a topic you'd like to see covered or a question related to military life, I'd love to hear it and possibly write about it! I'll be asking other service members, wives and family members to contribute too.

Hail-o Kitty

One of my biggest anxieties when we found out that Stud would be deploying again was the fact that I would be living alone. When he first deployed, I was in my last semester of college and after that I lived at home. I never felt scared or anxious about my safety. If something happened, I was surrounded by people who could help or at least communicate the situation to get help.

Living alone is one of the many factors that make this deployment to Afghanistan a totally different situation for us than his first deployment.

1. We're married. When Stud went to Iraq we had gotten engaged right before he left so not only was I not recognized legally by the USMC as his dependent or family but more importantly I was planning a wedding mostly alone!

2. I have a full-time job. My last semester of college only took up about two months of my time while was he gone last time. After that I spent months looking for a job...which I finally landed about two weeks before he came home. All of that downtime really seemed to make things worse.

3. We have our own place. A blessing and a source of anxiety at the same time. It's awesome to have my own place while he's gone but I also worry about having to handle emergencies and bad guys criminals if they were to come up.

4. Experience is a great teacher. Not only have we already been through a deployment but we've been married for a little over a year and have been able to learn more about each other and the way the military works in that time.

All things considered, we are in a better position this time around and we know that no matter what, God will sustain us. Even if we were somehow in a worse position heading into this deployment, trusting God and leaning on His truth is the only surefire way to succeed at anything. Even in the suckiest of situations, we are better off if we know God than we are not knowing God in the best of situations. Fact.

That being said, I still get a little freaked out a times and as much comfort and companionship as I get from our two lovely lady cats, Analie (Ana) and Derby, even they can be a source of anxiety. They're living "situation gauges." You can always tell how they feel because their emotion is written all over their fury little bodies. They purr and close their eyes when they're happy, they meow and rub against your legs when they want love food, and their hair rises and they arch their back when they're trying to intimidate one another -- you've gotta know that Ana has a nub for a tail so it turns into a pom pom when she's riled up. It's usually pretty easy to tell what's going on with the girls...especially since the expression I see most often is unconcerned languidness. In fact, here is a snapshot of the lounging ladies from last night:

They're fine. They're happy. They're mellow. Even though I know they're just cats, their attitude draws me in and I feel more relaxed when they're relaxed. Humans are cue-readers. We scan each other looking for information. Just try standing in the middle of the mall and looking up at the ceiling for a few minutes and see how many people walking by will look up to see what you're looking at. We all seek information and reading peoples reactions to situations can be a bigger source of information than the physical cues of the situation itself. We got to watch a video in my college Social Psych course of an experiment of the power of situational cues. The subject was asked to wait in a room with several other people who were in on the experiment. After waiting for a short time, smoke started entering the room from under a door across the room from the door the subject entered. The subject sees the smoke but looks around to see how the other people in the room react. The other people remain seated, acting totally indifferent and unmoved by the now-increasing smoke entering the room. What does the subject do? Does he run from the room yelling fire? Does he inform the other people that he sees smoke or ask what's going on? In several different trials, the subject remained seated being so over-powered by the "information" he was receiving from the others in the room, the cues telling him that there was nothing to worry about, that he ignored his own common sense. We saw that video and thought those subjects were crazy! But we all put more stock in the actions and reactions of others than we care to admit.

Now I hate to relate that all back to my silly cats but cats have expression too! So this is what happened. We three ladies were having a quite evening. I was working on my laptop in the living room and they were chillin'. All of a sudden I look out our sliding glass door to the porch and see a curtain of rain fall almost instantly. The cats were fine with that but when the thumping of hail hitting the roof followed, this is what I saw:

The poor girls didn't know what to think. Derby put on her detective hat and cautiously explored the porch with me but Ana retreated under the bed. Luckily in this situation I didn't have to rely on the cues of my cats alone to tell me if I should be worried, knowing so much more about weather than they do. Ha! But imagine what I might have felt if I hadn't known what was going on. When the living things around you show signs of fear, it can be hard to not feel a little fear yourself.

Come on. Look at that face:

You might think something were up too if you saw that.

Anyway, the tornado sirens went off and I locked us all in the bathroom (which didn't go over well with the cats) but it passed and we were all fine. So back to the point, I can't say I wasn't thinking about the outer wall of our apartment being torn off and not having my hubby home to help me deal with it. This living alone thing will have its ups and downs for sure. I am confident, though, that this isn't a novel anxiety. God's in control of this too and I figure as long as we're commanded to "Cast all your anxiety on Him for he cares for you," it's probably a good plan of action. Even if there is some hail sometimes.

I saved that piece in my freezer. Is that weird? I told myself it's so that I could show Stud when he comes home for his ten-day leave between training and deploying...I think I just secretly wanted to keep it for no good reason.

Intro to O-SMEAC: My Mission is a Better Life

Don't you love the word "mission?" I do. You tell me which sounds more exciting: "Your job is to deliver the mail" OR "your mission is to ensure that your people receive the materials they are sent by outside sources in a timely manner?" Ok. I may have embellished a little bit on the second one, but can you blame me? Once you use the word mission you almost have to get serious.

I think one of the reasons the word mission has such a psychological impact on me is that it really conveys a sense of purpose. The word itself refers to "a specific task with which a person or a group is charged," so it's clear that a mission is intentional. It anticipates an end goal and it's been dedicated to a person or group of people who are assumed to have the resources to accomplish it. A mission is organized. It has an impact. And, best of all, a mission is exciting! Maybe the word reminds me of crawling around in the ditch in the dark at summer camp trying not to get caught in our night games or maybe I've seen too many war movies, but missions always seem so risky and mysterious. It's quite a big deal to be involved in a mission. And if you complete the mission successfully? Well, that's pretty exciting too.

So what better way to trick myself into accomplishing some goals than by using some fancy lingo? It's all about the presentation. Do I want to have chips or ice cream while I watch Law and Order: SVU before I got to bed? Of course. Will the knowledge that A. those things are not healthy, B. it's not good to eat late at night and C. eating while watching TV tends to be mindless and therefore pointless be enough to compel me to forgo the temporal desires for the greater good of my body? Highly unlikely. However, I'm going to put my own claim to the test that presenting my goals in the form of missions will create enough influence to tip the scales to my benefit (um, literally and figuratively where the aforementioned goal is concerned). Of course, the benefit of engaging in a mission isn't just about the wording. Missions involve planning and accountability and those things can go a real long way in achieving goals too.

Being, as you know, a goal-oriented person, I have goals a-plenty. Some of the goals are personally imperative and some of the goals are simply novel. My goal -- yeah, I have a goal for how to accomplish my goals -- is to "mission-ize" them and take full advantage of the psychological repercussions.

Knowing very little about actual mission planning (a high school night mission to ransack our youth pastors' office as payback for their prank which ultimately resulted in the cops being called because our cars where "suspiciously" parked on a side road and having to explain ourselves in the church parking lot at night doesn't really make me an expert), I am going to borrow from the Few and the Proud. Believe it or not, I've picked up a lot from the military in the few looooooong years that Stud has been in.

The Marines follow a Five Paragraph Order entitled O-SMEAC when engaging in a mission. Here's the break down:

O- Orientation: the background information leading up to the situation

S- Situation: what's going on

M- Mission: the outline of the desired outcomes (who, what, where, when and why)

E- Execution: the most significant part- HOW the mission is to be completed

A- Administration and logistics: the support and resources for the mission

C- Command and signal: who's in charge and how will things be communicated

Check out this link for a more detailed explanation of O-SMEAC.

So that's the plan. I'm going to O-SMEAC my way to a better life. Do you get excited about missions? What do you want to "mission-ize" in your life?

Married to the Military

It was about three years ago that my best friend informed me out of the blue that he was considering enlisting in the Marine Corps. We were both going to school at the University of Wisconsin - River Falls and the news kind of shocked me. I didn't know what to say or even think. The opportunities, the danger, the pride, the limits. Joining the military can be one of the most significant decisions of your life and I had no idea what it could mean for him. Over the next couple of weeks the idea became reality and he took the plunge and signed his life away. Once the wheels were in motion, events unfolded at full speed. The Marine Corps offers a delayed entry program so after finishing out the semester he was off to boot camp. He was gone less than a week after school got out.

You may have inferred from the title that my best friend would turn out to be much more. At the time, Stud (as he is affectionately known) and I were not dating. We had started dating a couple years before but broke up, somehow successfully navigating the "friend" territory for about a year and a half. I didn't know what his commitment to the USMC would mean for me, if anything. Friend or not, I was still in love with this man. Sending him off to boot camp with a letter written in green ink and a few photos was one of the hardest goodbyes I had ever experienced. There was no way to know what three months away would do to our relationship. Would he even miss me? Little did I know that harder "goodbyes" would come.

Over the course of the three-month boot camp, letters flew back and forth from Minnesota to California and my heart held out the hope that my love would not return void, that something would change between us and the relationship that had been brewing for about three years would turn romantic again. I was surprised at how eager he was for me to write him and I, of course, was just as anxious to receive word from him, scouring each letter that came for indications of his sentiment.

When the final letter came, the three months were finally almost up and I read with an excitement that I can remember to this day that he wanted me to come to California to see him graduate. I packed my bags with carefully selected outfits for each day and boarded a plane for CA to see one of the coolest events of a military career: boot camp graduation ceremonies. I spent three days in CA being awed by the thick air of pride and history on base and happily enjoying this time together. Best of all, Stud got to come home with us for a ten-day leave.

As the days of his leave flew by I knew that there was one important conversation that I needed to have with this Marine before he went back to complete his training. He was oblivious that sitting through a movie next to him at the theater was almost torture thinking about "the talk" that was looming. It was pretty simple. All I had to say was, "I still love you. Do you, will you ever, love me too...again?" I didn't want to ask him, though. In all the time that we had been friends after we broke up, my feelings for him never dissolved. I did not relish the thought of being rejected and I was so convinced that his answer would be no that I dreaded even asking.

The confidence to ask came from God himself in what I now call faithful interaction. God's love never fails and his tangible and ethereal interactions with us are sweet evidence.

"It's like a shooting star," I told my mom during the week that he was home. "There's no way of knowing if it will come, when it will come. But when it does, you can't deny it. It's suddenly there." I don't know why I related his love to a shooting star but the analogy made sense to me. Would Stud one day, or over the course of weeks or months, see me as more than a friend? I didn't know. I couldn't know. Maybe even he couldn't know. But if it was going to happen, when it did happen, it would be clear. Like a shooting star.

I knew on one of the last nights of his leave that I needed to ask the question, for myself, and for him. I needed to know the answer and I needed him to know that I didn't see him as just a friend no matter how much I tried to behave that way to preserve our friendship. I had known him and be best friends with him for three years but I was really nervous. A big part of me still wanted to drop it and just watch and hope for an indefinite amount of time. In the moment, the idea of months of uncertainty and disappointment seemed more bearable than flat out rejection.

It had been a long, good day, but standing around outside his house that evening with some friends I was mentally preparing for when they would leave and we would be alone. Rehearsing what I would say and imagining how it would go had my stomach in knots. And then it happened. In the dark night sky, while everyone was talking and not paying attention, I saw it. A shooting star. Faithful interaction. I knew then that whatever the answer would be, I could handle it. No matter the outcome, I would be okay. I had the confidence I needed and, later that evening sitting on the couch, I learned to my surprise and delight that I was not alone in my love.

I guess you could say the rest is history. Stud had to leave right away for more training and through the distance our relationship grew. By the time he came home three months later, we were talking of marriage and I didn't want to leave his side for a second. It was within a week of his homecoming that we learned that we would be deployed. His training would start almost immediately. It was during that time that I began to realize how much a part of OUR lives the military would be. The tearful goodbyes, the giddy hellos, getting engaged on leave, planning a wedding during a deployment and living under the cloud of military schedules and regulations.

I still remember first hearing about the Marine Corps. Before that first conversation about the possibility of enlisting it used to be just a vague impression of valor and discipline, the "hardcore" branch. I never would have imagined back then that there would be a picture of my husband from his boot camp graduation sitting on my desk at work, dress blues hanging in our bedroom closet or that I'd be holding down the fort with our two cats as we head into a second deployment a little over a year after our wedding.

I think sometimes it's the things we never pictured for ourselves that fulfill us the most and it's often the struggles that we endure that bring the most joy and growth. Being married to the military has its ups and downs, victories and defeats, but it's all worth it for the love of one Marine.